We are all different beings when it comes to the expectations of a first date. Some men and women will prefer to wait until they have got to know their potential partner, as they fear that becoming physical on a first date will ruin the chances of a successful relationship going forward, whereas others will be less prescriptive, and more likely to ‘go with the flow’ and see where the chemistry takes them.
As humans we are all wired very differently. Much of our dating etiquette is pre-determined, often by previous experiences, good and bad. It is important to acknowledge this, and not necessarily feel that your desire to want to get physical on a first date is wrong, just that they may have genuine reasons why they don’t.
The question is; how to get physical on the first date without ruining the chances of a second?
Play it cool – The one thing you must not do, is give off an immediate and very obvious air that you are considering how to get physical on the first date, before you’ve even spent any time getting to know each other. You may feel a desperate urge to kiss her, and tear her clothes off, the moment you see her, but it is important to play it cool, and let her see you are a gentleman too.
Give off the right signals – A girl wants to be wined and dined, and made to feel special on a first date. It may be that she has every intention of getting you in to bed the moment you’ve left the restaurant, but in a way, you will score more points if she is the one making the suggestion, not you. How to get physical on the first date comes down to a mutual chemistry, and an unspoken air, with both people feeling mutually at that point where it’s going to happen, no matter how you try to stop it!
Tell her about yourself – Hopefully you are gracious enough to not just go on a date for one thing? If you are hoping to get to know this girl, and see her more than once, then it is important that she gets to know more about you. By doing so, she will feel like you are sincerely interested, especially if you mirror this by finding stuff out about her too. The level at which you do this does not need to get as deep as her knowing that you shoplifted a Mars bar when you were nine, but enabling her sense that she knows the ‘inner you’ will ensure there is a level of trust and understanding built, in the event that you do end up getting physical at the end of the date. That way, she will feel more valued if you have formed a deeper bond.
Don’t give away your intentions – Although you may find it difficult to keep your hands, and indeed eyes to yourself throughout the date, it is important to be respectful of the girl, and make her feel special. Whatever you do, don’t mention, even subtly, that you are hoping she will have sex with you at the end of the night, as this direct approach could well scare her off. Be tactile, ensure plenty of eye contact, be flirty, this will be far more impactful, than stating your intentions, and ruining things completely.
Physical can be on various levels – How to get physical on the first date will be down to you both. How much you get physical will be largely down to her. It may be, that you have to accept that you are on a date with a ‘goody two shoes’, and some girls will fight their emotion, even though they are dying to let you rip their clothes off, just because they have their own set of rules, so you have to abide by that, if you can’t, then maybe she isn’t the girl for you. Just because she’s expressed that she doesn’t have sex on a first date, that’s not to say she won’t be open to a knee trembling snog as you see her to her car, that way, at least you can be sure she’s interested!
Be sure of your own intentions – Are you going on the date because you really like this girl, and want to see her again? Or are you hoping to get the opportunity to have sex with a girl you already really fancy, and if you see her again, that’s a bonus? It is really important to be sure of your own intentions right at the beginning of the date. If you really like this girl, and think that if you suggest or attempt to instigate getting physical, it may ruin any chance of seeing her again, you need to be really clear about how and where you want this to go, in order to be comfortable with the outcomes of your actions, whatever they may be.
Except to their closest friends, men probably wouldn’t discuss how to get physical on a first date, although it is probably in the back of many men’s minds. Who is to say that the girl isn’t only meeting you to have a one night stand, and actually she has no real intention of seeing you again?
The reality is that if you are not prepared to budge on this need and desire to get physical so early, then that is a risk you take. If you are prepared to make a necessary sacrifice and wait a week or two, then it may be one to consider, if you really do like this girl. If, on the other hand, you fancy her silly, doubt she is really ‘the one’, but suspect you can at least get to see her a few times, on a casual basis, then the dilemma of trialling how to get physical on a first date is probably one you won’t mind taking.