So, you impressed her enough to get her to go on a date with you, that’s the easy part, you’ve now got the slightly more complex task, to make the first date work well enough, to convince her she’ll want to see you for a second.
How much do any of us really consider how our behaviour on a first date, will influence the likelihood of getting the girl of your dreams to go out for another? It would seem, that for most, all of the effort and determination is ploughed in to chasing, gaining the attention of, then asking out the girl you want to date, with little or no consideration given to ensuring you ‘wow’ her suitably to be eager to see you again.
For most, merely getting through ‘Date One’ with no drama’s or embarrassing episodes is enough, and the method of simply winging it, is the most likely one for the less experienced dater. For those who are more prolific, or some might say ‘seasoned’, the dating process will in general be one which comes more naturally, does not need to be planned like a military exercise, and there will be a natural expectation that a second date will follow, as a direct result of numerous previous successes.
Here are some important tips to follow, to guarantee how you get that second date:
Select a date where you can get to know each other – Despite a woman wanting a man to be original and considerate when it comes to arranging a date, sky diving, or kayaking probably aren’t the best choice of activity. The importance of the first date, in order to guarantee the second, it to sell yourself, and endear the girl, to a point where she will be desperate to book you up to see you again. Suspending yourself in mid-air, or wading through river water don’t really lend themselves to calm, friendly conversation, the opportunity to exercise appropriate body language, and most of all, look your best! Think outside the box, do you research, and find a bar or if you’re feeling braver, a restaurant which has an impressive or unusual theme, that way, she will be suitably impressed by your taste, style, and evident ability to ‘wow’ a lady.
Consider carefully how you present yourself – It may be that this girl has already seen you, be it out shopping, or on your way to work, and will potentially have already gained an impression of you before the date. Whether she has seen you in your torn jeans and muddy work boots, or has never clapped eyes on you before, the image you present on your first date, will be the make or break of ensuring a second. Select an outfit that blends with your usual ‘style’. There is nothing worse than someone buying a head-to-toe new outfit, which then doesn’t really represent the image they carry on a day to day level. You want to give your date a flavour of your style, taste, and attention to detail. Top your chosen ensemble off with a scent that will hit her subtly as she enters your personal space, rather than dousing yourself with your dad’s aftershave as you are walking out the door, to a point where she is overwhelmed by fumes on her approach to you.
Be chatty, but don’t give too much away – It is an easy mistake to make, telling your date everything about you the first time you meet. The first date should be one where you are merely fact-finding on a very superficial level; maybe talking about your jobs, friends, and things you enjoy doing. A first date is not the time to be disclosing your deepest darkest previous dating disasters; how you haven’t spoken to your mum for 2 years, and how you once took medication for anxiety. The finer detail can be shared when you decide you want to get to know each other more. It is likely you will scare her off with too much information on a first date, and quite frankly, it isn’t necessary, if she wants to find out more, she will want to see you again!
Don’t try to be something you’re not – If she was attracted to you enough to agree to go on the first date, she is obviously keen on the ‘you’ she has seen so far. Whatever you do don’t masquerade as someone you aren’t. Confidence is a great personality trait, but women really don’t like men who boast, or try to impress in a way that is obvious, vulgar even. If you try to present yourself different to who and what you actually are, the veil will soon slip, and you really won’t be able to maintain it long before the ‘real you’ slips to the surface. Bottom line is simple; if she arranges to go on a date based the person she sees before her on date one, and then sees a totally different person on date two, let’s face it, there definitely won’t be a date three!
Appear keen, not desperate – This will need to be carefully thought through. When you’ve possibly had to jump through hoops to get her to agree to go on a date with you in the first place, you may feel compelled to plough in and come across too strongly, in a bid to convince her to see you a second time. The important thing to remember, is that, if you have firstly taken heed of the advice above, and secondly dropped subtle hints throughout the date that you are looking for a girlfriend, and are seriously wanting to invest your time in her, the conversation, as you go your separate ways at the end of the evening, will naturally lead in to arranging not if you are going to see each other, but when.
Having taken all of this advice in to account, the factor which will over ride all of your considered efforts, is the matter of chemistry. Chemistry is not something we can force or control, it’s just there! From the moment you clap eyes on each other, you will both know whether you want to go on a second date, following the above advice will merely solidify the likelihood that you will!