So, you’ve seen a girl a few times, and she really is your dream woman. You’ve discovered where she lives, where she works, where she drinks on a Saturday night, now all you need to do is capture her attention, and see if the interest is a mutual one. How easy is it getting a date with the girl you have your eye on?
Make sure you do your ‘homework’
There is really nothing more disheartening, than setting your sights on someone hot, embarking on a mission to ask them out on a date, only to find out after all this work, that she has a boyfriend, or worse still, a girlfriend! It is essential therefore, that you establish from the start, whether this dream girl is single, or at worst whether she has her sights on someone else already.
So, your first step has to be to find out her name. This really isn’t too difficult, especially if you know where she works and lives. If you really want to land a date with this girl, you are going to have to man-up and get the courage to go in to her work (preferably when she isn’t there), and ask a colleague. Try to avoid stating your reasons for asking, you could, for example, just say she is a friend of your sisters, or that you are wanting to add her to a party invite, in general, any unsuspecting colleague isn’t going to hesitate to give you the answer you are after.
With the advance of social networking sites, it really isn’t difficult to do some Facebook ‘stalking’ to see if maybe you have mutual friends, or if her account gives you any clear indication by means of a ‘single’ status, or photo’s kissing a boyfriend? If Facebook isn’t giving away any clues, try Instagram, or Twitter even.
Once you know she’s available
You’ve established she doesn’t have a partner, or that she isn’t madly in love with someone she is trying to get a date with, so you have the ‘green light’ to take your mission to the next stage. There’s no time like the present to plan a tactical step, to actually make contact with this girl, and work towards getting her to agree to a date with you.
You have several options open to you, and this will really depend on two things. Firstly, how confident you are, and secondly what tactics have worked for you in the past:
- Use social media – Fortunately, just about everyone has a social media account, if not more. You have her name, she should be pretty easy to track down, this is where you just have to go for it and ‘add’ her as a friend, or start following her. If you’re feeling really brave, you might want to instant message her too, explaining your reason for the request.
- Find out where she drinks – This is an easy approach, although may take a little longer than the method of direct contact. Start frequenting the same pubs and bars at the weekend, if you see her friends, and she isn’t there, maybe get chatting to them, and asking some pretty obvious questions, girls being girls, it will soon get back to her! If you are lucky enough to see her out and about, order a drink at the bar, and get someone to send it over to her, see if she takes the bait.
- Use good old fashioned romance – Despite what men think, as independent as they seem, modern girls still like an old fashioned romantic. Flowers, chocolates, or if you’re feeling very lavish, perfume, never fail to impress, and it is sure to make even the most stubborn girl, at least, give you the time of day to start a conversation. If you do follow this route, be sure to clearly identify yourself, and how your intended can then get in touch with you, otherwise, you’ve wasted both a golden opportunity, and probably a lot of money!
- Take the direct approach – It will take a brave man to do this, however it is both the quickest one, and the one which is sure to get you a response, even if it’s not the one you want to hear. Consider carefully what it is you want to say (avoid cheesy one-liners), what your intentions are, and pop in to her work, or approach her politely in the street. You don’t need to overdo things at this stage, just be honest, let her know she has captured your attention, ask her how you go about getting a date with her, and offer her your number. The ball is now in her court.
Be prepared to accept rejection
Fingers crossed this won’t even be an issue, providing you follow the advice above, you are guaranteed to make even the most difficult girl go weak at the knees, with one unfortunate exception; she simply doesn’t fancy you. It’s never something we want to hear, but it is an unfortunate reality. You must be prepared to hear this directly, or be savvy enough to get the hint! If you send her a friends request on Facebook, and she doesn’t accept it, nor does she reply to your instant message (despite being read), that’s a sure sign she isn’t interested. If she accepts your gift with thanks, but doesn’t follow it up with a gushing text message asking when she can see you, then you are going to have to accept it.
Whatever you do, don’t force the issue. The most important thing when it comes to two people getting together, with a view to dating, is that there is mutual attraction. All of the methods set out above will offer her sufficient ‘exposure’ to you, to decide whether or not she fancies you enough to let you take her out. And if you doesn’t, then you just use the same methods, to capture the heart of the next girl that captures your attention.